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ekusudei20 ~*~ First Star Troupe Performance
After transferring, my first Star Troupe performance was the final performance of then-Top Star Otori Ran. It was called A White Night, My Love.
Even worse, I joined them for the Tokyo performance.
The Tokyo performance takes place after the month and a half run in the Grand Theater, so all of the performers could give great performances even with their eyes closed or even asleep. Thrust among them, I was a blank slate, and it was unbearable. It felt as if a stranger had just walked into someone's house while the family was having dinner and helped themselves to the food. However, I had resolved to stay, which gave me some strength. Anxiety swept through me, but at any rate I had been given appearances in some scenes, my classmates helped me, and I learned my cues and movements.
At last, rehearsals began with Star Troupe. There I felt as if they were thinking, "What's up with this stranger?" and as if I was exposed to all of their judging eyes, and I was in pretty pitiful shape.
I had abruptly been given the lead in the shinjinkouen, but even saying that, I was more nervous than I had ever been before.
At the same time, a member four years my senior had been transferred with me (Ban Akira), and she was so nervous that she took only two steps in the choreography and slipped and sprained her ankle.
*
In such a tense atmosphere at rehearsals, somehow I got through them, and it was time for the Tokyo Theater performance.
The dressing rooms at the Tokyo Theater are different from the large dressing rooms at the Grand Theater, where everyone is together, and only five or six fit per room.¹
Of all the rotten luck, my good results had me placed in a room with members a year above me. (Everything in Takarazuka is ordered around results.)²
My classmate Mokku (Haruka Kurara) was in the room with me, but she was Otori Ran's partner, and so always on stage and never in the dressing room. All of my other classmates were in other rooms.
It was a two-act show, so for someone like me without a role I spent a lot more time in the dressing room than I did on stage.
Properly, a Takarazuka dressing room is a fun place to put on your makeup, eat, and talk about stupid things and laugh with friends.
But I was always together with upperclassmen who didn't speak to me.
*
The two days of dress rehearsals before opening night were hell. I spent nearly all day in the dressing room, and spent them sitting in front of the mirror silently, like an autistic child.
Joining Takarazuka, suddenly I became an extremely shy child (Before that I had been an amiable child, always beaming, a loving child who lavished smiles on everyone. Really. Because I was so sweet I always got lots of sweets from people, which must have helped out our household expenses...?) and I forgot how to strike up a conversation with people I didn't know. So, even though I was resolved to fix things, the oppressive atmosphere in that dressing room killed my ability to try it.
The night after we opened, I went to a bar an acquaintance ran and bawled, "No more~! I'm quitting~!"
No words would console me, and my continued tears drove all the other customers away before I went home, exhausted from crying.
I intended not to return to the dressing room the next morning or ever after. I swore to myself that I would quit without waiting for closing night, and at last fell asleep.
(1) The dressing room situation that she describes refers to the old Grand Theater and old Tokyo Theater. I believe I read somewhere that both have the smaller dressing rooms now.
(2) Takarasienne are tested during certain years, and the results of those tests (along with other factors) contribute to their standing in the Revue and affect their promotions, etc.
After transferring, my first Star Troupe performance was the final performance of then-Top Star Otori Ran. It was called A White Night, My Love.
Even worse, I joined them for the Tokyo performance.
The Tokyo performance takes place after the month and a half run in the Grand Theater, so all of the performers could give great performances even with their eyes closed or even asleep. Thrust among them, I was a blank slate, and it was unbearable. It felt as if a stranger had just walked into someone's house while the family was having dinner and helped themselves to the food. However, I had resolved to stay, which gave me some strength. Anxiety swept through me, but at any rate I had been given appearances in some scenes, my classmates helped me, and I learned my cues and movements.
At last, rehearsals began with Star Troupe. There I felt as if they were thinking, "What's up with this stranger?" and as if I was exposed to all of their judging eyes, and I was in pretty pitiful shape.
I had abruptly been given the lead in the shinjinkouen, but even saying that, I was more nervous than I had ever been before.
At the same time, a member four years my senior had been transferred with me (Ban Akira), and she was so nervous that she took only two steps in the choreography and slipped and sprained her ankle.
*
In such a tense atmosphere at rehearsals, somehow I got through them, and it was time for the Tokyo Theater performance.
The dressing rooms at the Tokyo Theater are different from the large dressing rooms at the Grand Theater, where everyone is together, and only five or six fit per room.¹
Of all the rotten luck, my good results had me placed in a room with members a year above me. (Everything in Takarazuka is ordered around results.)²
My classmate Mokku (Haruka Kurara) was in the room with me, but she was Otori Ran's partner, and so always on stage and never in the dressing room. All of my other classmates were in other rooms.
It was a two-act show, so for someone like me without a role I spent a lot more time in the dressing room than I did on stage.
Properly, a Takarazuka dressing room is a fun place to put on your makeup, eat, and talk about stupid things and laugh with friends.
But I was always together with upperclassmen who didn't speak to me.
*
The two days of dress rehearsals before opening night were hell. I spent nearly all day in the dressing room, and spent them sitting in front of the mirror silently, like an autistic child.
Joining Takarazuka, suddenly I became an extremely shy child (Before that I had been an amiable child, always beaming, a loving child who lavished smiles on everyone. Really. Because I was so sweet I always got lots of sweets from people, which must have helped out our household expenses...?) and I forgot how to strike up a conversation with people I didn't know. So, even though I was resolved to fix things, the oppressive atmosphere in that dressing room killed my ability to try it.
The night after we opened, I went to a bar an acquaintance ran and bawled, "No more~! I'm quitting~!"
No words would console me, and my continued tears drove all the other customers away before I went home, exhausted from crying.
I intended not to return to the dressing room the next morning or ever after. I swore to myself that I would quit without waiting for closing night, and at last fell asleep.
(1) The dressing room situation that she describes refers to the old Grand Theater and old Tokyo Theater. I believe I read somewhere that both have the smaller dressing rooms now.
(2) Takarasienne are tested during certain years, and the results of those tests (along with other factors) contribute to their standing in the Revue and affect their promotions, etc.
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